Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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