For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
