Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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