ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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