No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
