if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
There's always time for handjobs
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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