the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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