After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
