You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
