Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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