I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
