Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm gonna fight the coyote
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
