New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
