we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
