He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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