I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
