I can text with my tongue
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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