My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
