No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
