We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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