She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize