The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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