What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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