I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize