I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
