is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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