Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
