It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
