I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
only if we run a train.
done.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
