He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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