Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize