yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
