My nipple is on Facebook.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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