I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
the liver wants what the liver wants
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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