the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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