So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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