Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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