i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
