hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
