so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
