I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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