I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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