I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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