the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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