i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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