I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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