just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
