All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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