At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
