I hope mine doesn't look like that
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
