is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
