and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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