She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
