I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
