she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
