Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
